Why I love Katie

I wish I could write something that would equal the post that Katie wrote for my birthday - unfortunately, it was so kind and thoughtful (it brought tears to my eyes to see that she remembers more about my life than I do!) that what I write below won't even compare.

Several years ago, while flying on a plane, I saw the movie "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton", and, as silly as it may seem, you would be surprised to discover that it made me think seriously about love. What is love? How do you know that you love someone? I remember thinking about those questions very seriously and feeling dissatisfied with my own thoughts on why I love my wife. They seemed to center more on things that she does than characteristics of who she is. Do I merely love what my wife does for me, or do I love my wife?

Yesterday, I put my finger on it better than ever before: I love Katie because she wants to live in a small home. Katie sends interesting news articles to me from time to time (one of the things that she does that I love), and yesterday she sent this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/11/garden/11tiny.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=small%20homes&st=cse&oref=slogin

While reading, fascinated as I considered the many benefits that would follow from reducing the size of one's home, I was shocked that Katie had sent the article to me and that she was (seemingly) a proponent. It occurred to me that she is frequently the wife of the guy in that article - her husband is always coming up with nutty ideas that he must see to completion. And she does it with such grace.

So why does desiring to live in a small home make me love Katie? It symbolizes several very important things about her:

1. She's a progressive thinker. She doesn't shy away from new ideas that break convention, especially if they seem to have merit.

2. She would rather focus her energy on more important elements of life. One of the arguments in favor of living in a small home is that it requires far less energy to maintain (measured in a variety of ways: time, cost, environmental resources, worry, etc.) - energy that would be better spent on other things. Katie has a knack and a vision for prioritizing those 'other things' and cutting out the fluff.

3. If I told her that I wanted to build a small home with my own hands, she would be supportive. I'm not saying that there wouldn't be difficult times along the way, but what kind of wife would let her husband run off and do that when his portfolio of home building experience consists of nothing more than working as a grunt on a home construction site for a month one summer? Sometimes, she's probably not dissimilar to Noah's wife.

Katie will testify that she and I are very different people. Yet, more and more I realize that we are actually quite alike - we share a similar vision of life and family. And by 'share a similar vision', I don't mean that we have a common notion of how we're going to live out the rest of our days...I mean we have a common underlying philosophy of how to approach life naturally, cutting away the excess and living in a way that brings us deep satisfaction and excitement. Our differences are really caught up in the fluff.

What I most love about Katie is how she validates my life and who I am. Somehow, she has wrapped herself into the webbing of my character and has figured me out on a fundamental level. Just read her blog post on April 8, 2008. Most importantly, understanding who I am, she promotes my strengths, rejoices in my good news, comforts me in hard times and encourages me to fulfill my dreams. But just to be clear: I don't love her BECAUSE she does those things...I love her because she IS the person who does those things. That is a defining characteristic of who she is and it's attribute to which I aspire.

So, happy birthday, Katie! Thank you for sharing life with me, growing up with me and bringing great happiness to our family.