Dear Eric,
I sent you to school this morning with my blue and orange Jansport backpack. The zipper on yours is broken, so I gave you mine. I used it for four years of college, and I can still remember the day I bought it. I had gotten a $50 gift certificate to the Container Store as a graduation present. I bought a red travel jewelry case and that backpack. As I stood trying to decide on colors, the song Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'conner was playing on the store radio. I started to cry, thinking of my highschool friends, my home, family and school that I would soon be leaving behind. I was scared and apprehensive, but something inside me told me to move forward. Something told me there was something better ahead.
My freshman year of college was more fun that I ever could have imagined. I cried much, much harder when it was time to come home for the summer than I did when I had left. I counted the days until I could go back to school, back to my friends, my classes, my loblolly pine trees. When I did come back I fell in love, and I don't even have words to describe what that was like. I only know that for some people it happens gradually and for some if feels like being whacked in the head with a baseball bat, only in a good way, and that's what it was like for me. But getting married was like stepping over a chasm into another world, and I knew I would be giving up some things I might never get back. I remember sitting in the backseat as we drove away from the party the night before our wedding, next to my soon-to-be father-in-law. He patted me on the shoulder while I cried and wondered once again about all that I was leaving behind. Once again, something inside told me to move forward.
I thought about these things when I sent you out the door this morning with my college backpack. I miss your baby self. I'm trying so hard to let go of that baby and embrace the boy you, because I know that all too soon, he will be gone too. It's really hard, but something inside me tells me to move forward. I know that God only takes away that which is precious to us in order to give us back something even better. I love Elder Holland's words from this month's Ensign:
Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the "high priest of good things to come (Hebrews 9:11).
I love you! Take good care of my backpack!
Love, Mama
10 comments:
Thanks, Katie. I needed that today.
Sweet post. Gotta love Elder Holland and Mrs. Aldrich.
I feel so warm after reading this. (And it's chilly in my house right now!) Thanks for sharing those turning points in your life.
this was a great post...thanks katie...you definitely have way with words :)
tears and smiles from me :)
What a sweet post.
Those full circle moments are so sweet and so sad at the same time. It reminds me of how I felt when I watched the nieces I used to babysit playing with my boys. Where does the time go?
So sweet. You write so beautifully. I hope I can take all of your insights with me when I hit this phase full-on with McKenzie. It's already starting...but I have a feeling it's going to get more intense.
"I miss your baby self. I'm trying so hard to let go of that baby and embrace the boy you, because i know that all too soon, he will be gone too." - Beautiful
Awesome beautiful perfect. Thank you :)
i completely agree with sara that you have a way with words. sometimes i feel that you are reading my mind's emotions and putting it into words. this post especially.
oh and about the pigtails. just use a comb dipped in water. those teeny-tiny elastics and no mercy!:)
i want to see pictures.
What a beautiful post, I love your writing. I came to your blog today to wish you a Happy Groundhogs Day/Seminary Anniversary! I am so happy you're in my life, you make it better.
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