Did I ever mention that Marley's middle name is most emphatically NOT from the Twilight books? Eric gave her the name Bella because it means beautiful in Portuguese, language of Brazil, land of his mission. (Actually it's bela, with one L, but I'm sensitive about hard-to-pronounce names, having had one myself). We call her our bella girl. When I look at her I see perfection in every tiny detail, from her small chubby feet to the soft sprout of curls on the top of her head. I love to watch her purse her beautiful little mouth when she tastes something new, to press my lips against her always-flushed cheeks, to feel the weight of her head resting on my shoulder when I pick her up out of her crib. Yesterday someone remarked to me about how vocal she is and I responded that I waited for months and months to hear her sweet little voice- it seemed like it took her forever to find it, but now it's my favorite sound in the world.
Having my little bella girl helps me see beauty all around me- just tonight I was at the church and passed by a friend in the hallway and just stopped and stared at her for a moment, with her dark wavy hair and freckles. I thought about how glad I am that our Father in Heaven made us all so different and so beautiful in our own ways. Why is that so hard to apply to ourselves? How do help my precious daughter understand how breathtakingly beautiful she is without making her feel like her value is in the way she looks, that her beauty stems from her value and not the other way around? These things weigh on me at night while I'm lying in bed. So there's a price to pay for all those fun hair bows and dresses after all....
6 comments:
bella is so beautiful and I love that you mad it clear you didn't get her name from twilight, you are of course WAY more original than that. little girls are so fun, char's hair is getting long enough to braid...could it be?? :)
I think exactly the same things about Hannah. Hooray for sweet, beautiful, loving babies.
Oh wow, do I hear you! When Charlotte was about 3 months old, it hit me like a brick - I have a GIRL!!! And I thought of all the things I wanted to tell her about beauty and the worth of her soul, and since I couldn't tell her right then, I started a journal. It has a lot of other stuff in it, too, but that's the reason I started it.
Your little girl is so blessed to have a mother who is beautiful and clever, and who knows where true beauty comes from.
I love this post - it is all so true. It's daunting to think about raising kids in this world that can be so harsh and cruel. Your kids will surely hold you in their memory as a soft and warm place to be. My answer is to teach them all karate and no one will mess with them.
It's interesting to me that you posted those thoughts about your hopes for your Bella girl along with photos of Eric. This is a little personal, but I know my self-confidence came largely from my mom's example (the way she lived her life) and *my dad's* actions and words.
I think that raising daughters is fraught with worry. I worried about my older daughter having enough self-confidence not to "settle" for the first guy who happened by. (Thankfully we seem to have done ok there.) I worry now about my little girls--is there any way that I can help them get through teenage-hood without having to torture themselves by comparing themselves to their sister? (I hope that made sense.) I want them all to know that they are incredible just the way they are, but sometimes that feels like a tall order as a mom.
PS--what a cutie Marley is...
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