Resolved: Enjoy life

Eric and Brigham, eating the good stuff, with S and K from across the street. 

On New Year's Eve I was not a very good wife.  Eric got sick and begged off going with me to a neighborhood party I'd been looking forward to.  He looked bad- I could tell he felt awful, and yet I flounced out of the house without so much as a backward glance when I learned he planned to spend the evening in bed (I did apologize for this later....kind of....sorry sweetie:)).

When we reached the party house, the kids were ushered down to the basement where a sitter and a wide array of crafts, food and movies awaited them.  Upstairs there was music, shrimp cocktail and fascinating conversation on every side.  I met an entire family who'd just moved to the neighborhood from Bhutan. And a woman who'd just returned from a medical mission to Kenya.  And an Indian man who, when I told him I had four children, handed his wine glass to the person next to him and bowed before me.  It was kind of an awesome night.

When I got home, all I could think about was how completely relaxed I'd felt.  No children underfoot, talking with old friends, making new ones, learning new things (like that there's a country called Bhutan!?), eating shrimp, being a grownup.

Last night, after Eric had belly-flopped on the bed next to me, I rattled off my New Year's resolutions.  I mentioned a resolution to enjoy life more.  He said, "yeah, like the other night when Eric was at a friend's house and we spent an hour playing legos with Brigham?".  There was a long pause, then "uh.......no.......not like that."  Because I love Brigham, but I'd kind of rather poke myself in the eye than play legos.  Playing legos falls into the category of things I feel guilty about not liking to do.  Just being honest.

What I meant by enjoying life was figuring out things that make me feel happy and relaxed and energized and doing them more often.  Even if it seems selfish.  Like going to parties (having a party?), or walking the dog for two hours on a Sunday afternoon, or talking to a friend on the phone while swinging in the hammock.  Crazily, when I make time to do those things, I'm a much better mother and wife, so it's not so selfish after all.  I might even have it in me to play legos for a little while:).

It's not that I don't do these things.  It's just that I do them approximately.  I unload the dishwasher and fold laundry while I'm talking to that friend, or I take the kids along to the party and on the walk.  Which is fine- sometimes, but sometimes it's like eating fat-free ice cream.  Better to go for the good stuff, even if it means having it less often.

I don't know- we'll see how it goes....