Brigham had his first day of kindergarten on Wednesday. Interestingly, he was much less concerned about it than Eric. I think he started to get a little nervous, however (and so did I) when his teacher repeatedly called him Chandler when he walked in the room: "Welcome, Chandler!....Let's find your desk, Chandler!" I agonized over this all the way home- why, WHY didn't I correct her?! Because she's been teaching for almost thirty years and although she seems very, very nice, she instructed us on what brand of scissors to buy with such specificity that I confess I'm pretty intimidated by her! Apparently she figured things out when the real Chandler showed up. His parents probably have backbones.
Brigham had an accident and had to use the change of clothes I had sent in, but other than that, all seemed to go well. He told me that there were two "options" for lunch, and he chose a baked potato with cheese sauce, broccoli and chocolate milk. As his eyes were closing in sleep that night, I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said: "a potato". Eric, for his part, raves about the salads in the cafeteria- complete with cucumbers! Today they wore red for red day and Brigham made an apple puppet, which I'm dying to see when he brings it home on Monday.
I miss them. Don't get me wrong- our house is pretty darn clean right now. Everyone has clean clothes- folded and in their drawers, even. The dog has been bathed. But tomorrow is Saturday, and for the first time in my life as a mother, I'm looking forward to it not because my husband will be home, but because my kids will be home. I find myself FIERCELY guarding the precious moments we have to be together as a family. This is part pregnancy hormones, I'm certain, but also part not realizing what you have until you've lost it. All those unscheduled minutes in which I could have snuggled and done puzzles and sung songs. I've tried to console myself with thoughts of the daughter growing inside me right now. In a few months I'll have a new little friend to keep me company. But, strangely, that never works. Even though our two bodies are one, I don't know her yet. I look at my boys and try to think how one day she'll inspire the same overwhelming feelings of love and protectiveness that they do....but that day is still to come. So for now, the dog is getting LOTS of love and attention, and I'm learning how to be alone again.
4 comments:
Katie--I have to admit that sounds so wonderful and peaceful. Sometimes I think I will be a better mom when they are at school (12 hours allows for a lot of button pushing). But deep down (gosh--even near the surface), I know that you are right. I need to do more snuggling, singing and puzzling!!
I loved your post--especially your use of FIERCELY!
Miss you--Andrea
I'm learning slowly that it's all about the moments of just being a family that are the most valuable in my life--just being us and me seeing my children, which I don't always do. The time just goes so fast, and sometimes, I see them as adults with children of their own, and it makes me sad and happy at once, and I choose not to think about it anymore.
You seriously should write a book or something - your posts remind me of Robert Fulgham's writing style. Anyway, thank you for writing such a bittersweet post and reminding me to appreciate every moment during these early years in their life.
How strange that once upon a time you and I were in the same boat...and now I still only have Tuck to send to school this year! I know what you mean about looking forward to having them home. We all count the hours until Tuck gets home from school. Kay tells me, "Tucky makes all the fun." I guess we should just say kids make all the fun! - oh, and I LOVE the DUKE shirt!!! Brings back vivid images of you.
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